Do you ever have days where your mind just goes there? You know what I mean…. There being a place where all things seem clear and reasonable, but in reality it never changes. The sky is really the limit and you feel like that the spirit of the Lord is standing right before you just as he did in the Old Testament times, but you haven’t an actual clue your entertaining angels because well, he never reveals his name?!? But you feel and sense that something is just, different?!? No, just me?!? Ok, no worries. I’m pretty use to being different.

As a kid I didn’t quite embrace it or understand it and if I’m a 100% honest, I don’t think my parents ever fully understood it for themselves either. What exactly am I talking about? The fact that as Christ following disciples we are set apart. We are called out. We are given a mission and a purpose. We are sold out to him. To make his name known. To fully devote our lives to sharing the gospel with all those that are around us.

Yet, often times, somehow, we easily tend to forget our calling. Our main purpose for living on this place called Earth. We sell our souls to ______. Fill in the blank with what fits best. We desire popularity over humbly serving and loving people. We seek wealth and/or instant fame/success instead of being willing to do the hard work trusting that His Word is true “work hard become a leader. Be lazy and become a slave.” (Proverbs 12:24)

The last thing I want to become is a slave. No matter if it’s a slave to something as simple as doing the dishes and laundry or something as complex as my phone. So how do I work hard without having a mindset of “good works” but balance in rest and restoring? I’m not real sure, but I’m willing and ready to learn.

My theme/goal for 2023 is “Learning to Live.” Learning to live fully in the life that I am currently placed in and work in. Live fully physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. If I’m real honest its been a hot minute since I have had that clear mind.

Part of that was just the stress of moving cross-country while being met shortly after with the crazy thing we all experienced. Part of it was homeschooling kiddos who really love to be in the middle of their peers and this momma who also thrives in being in the middle of her peers as well not to even mention that I do love to work. I enjoy cleaning teeth and walking alongside those that carry a title of being one of my patients or co-workers. Part of it was trying to figure out what the role of “pastor’s wife” really means and how do I find the balance that is best for me, our family and my marriage while still being able to have a sympathetic and broken heart of what breaks God’s. And those thoughts don’t even include how do I learn to thrive in this now almost 42 year old body that brings about physical changes.

Learning to live means that I am submitting my will, my heart, my hurts, my heartaches, and even my desires to Him while trusting that because I am intentionally putting Christ first, He has already gone before me and has a plan. He is good and He is sovereign. Learning to live means learning to grow where I’m planted while trusting that it might mean discomfort. And learning to live sometimes means just learning to be.

So the question is this, how do you define what learning to live means? What does that look like to you and what constitutes success?

For me, today it means that it’s a constant reminder that His mercies are new every morning. It means that my human expectations must decrease as my faith muscles increase. Today, I can say that I am living while also loving where I am in this stage of life.