I use to believe that the definition of “friends” was someone who is close to the same age and in the same state of life that a person closely interacted with for most anything and/or everything. I’m not real sure why I thought this way, but probably because I am a pretty straightforward literal type thinking person and that just seemed like the logical thing. I can’t say that I believed this to be true because of what was modeled for me or what I saw occur in the lives of people around me, but it is what it is.

When I look back on my life and think of those that I have deemed as friends, the above self described definition rings nothing of truth. Using the the self definition of “friends”, I would tell you that I didn’t have many friends growing up because my “friends” were people of various ages and life stages. Some of my closest “friends” in life were even family, like both of my grandmothers. Those ladies, I would have chosen to hang out with them anyday over hanging with girls my age (that is until I hit that awkward phase of life and began to internalize that above definition and felt like a failure because I preferred “my ladies” over girls my age). Or my friends were those that lived at the Natchitoches Parish Long Term Care Unit where my Uncle B.A. lived most of his life and because of one of those “ladies”, I visited the NPLTCU weekly and not out of obligation but out of longing to see how the residents were doing.

Today, I would define friends or friendship as people that a person chooses to intimately connect their life with because both parties involved want to and are willing to walk through all circumstances of life no matter what the case may be. (Not advocating abuse here.) Notice this definition has nothing to do with an age or life stage. . . it simply is the choice and decision to go deep, be intentional, and to love no matter how it may make you feel. Now, before we go further, what I am NOT saying is that a person chooses to be in a friendship with someone who abuses them in any way shape or form. Mentally. Spiritually. Physically. Emotionally. That is not okay! Not appropriate and should not be tolerated. If you have those friends and you truly care about their well being (because being an excellent friend doesn’t mean it’s always about you) then the best thing you can do for them is point that friend to someone or something that can help them grow past whatever circumstance it is that keeps them in the cycle of hurt or hurting others.

This past weekend, I had the privilege of spending it with my friends! For three years, Craig and I have been in a group we affectionately refer to as #elochos. . . .the eight friends. Yes, we are well aware that is not the literal translation but that is who we are. This group started with a simple text message that went out from one husband to the other husbands of the women that said husband’s wife was friends with or wanted to get to know better. It was an attempt, and the beginning, of trying to form couple friendships. Couple friendships are so hard. . . it’s like dating but it isn’t just what you think of one person, it’s what you both think of both people and sometimes that doesn’t add up! Many more couples initially responded yes to the invitation. . . as time approached the others backed out for various reasons and so the journey of the 8 began!

Over the course of the three years, planning Valentine’s Day has unintentionally evolved alternating from wives (#locosquatros) to husbands (#elhombres) and so on. It has become a healthy competition of the #battleofthesexes to see who can out surprise the other.

First year the #locosquatros hired an uber driver, sent #elhombres out on an adventure to a local vintage arcade where they could enjoy the games and a variety of IPA beers.

They then returned to a homemade dinner and framed lists of “10 Things we love about you” from each spouse. Pretty good right?!? We thought so.

Year two #elhombres secured babysitters, rented hotel rooms all at the same swanky hotel, made dinner reservations, had flowers waiting at the restaurant, hired uber drivers, and took us to a night of dancing at a local grown adult night club. . . aka live music and with the median age of attenders being 35 years old! Ok, so that definitely TOPPED the chart!

Challenge accepted. Fast forward to this year, 2019.

The text messages and marco polo’s began and #locosquatros quickly came to a conclusion of what our Valentine’s Day celebration would look like. We met for a “planning session” lunch and ironed out the details. And then we patiently but anxiously awaited for the time to come. Broken Bow here we come! #elochosValentine’sDay weekend was a complete success! The #elhombres never figured it and #elochos HAD A BLAST!

Grateful Head Pizza and then to the cabin for the weekend!

The pictures will have to speak for themselves, because the conversations, well they are sacred! For #elochos ears only! It has taken three years to get to this level of intimate conversations and trust. My prayer is that as we continue to grow together for years to come, that our level of intimacy continues, and we continue to challenge and encourage each other to strive for what is deeper and more meaningful. The whole as iron sharpens iron we sharpen each other type of thing.

So remember how I gave my personal definition of what I thought a friend was and how I thought I was a failure because my reality didn’t measure up to my idealistic definition? Ironically, thank you to many years of counseling, trial and errors, heartache and JESUS, I have learned that my realistic definition is what I prefer and the idealistic version is for the birds.

Going deep and being intentional is hard. It stretches us as individuals and the people we go deep with. . . it causes us to be introspective as well as retrospective. It causes us, in love, to challenge our friends to look beyond themselves always attempting to set our aim on that of Christ Jesus. Honestly, it really isn’t anything about ME or WE or YOU or US. It’s about HIM and HIM in US (or me, we, you, etc). . . . and IT’S SO HARD! That mind set goes beyond anything that is literal or logical. . . . it is against the grain and can hurt. Not hurt in a bad way, but a good growing pains kind of hurt.

#elochos isn’t a group of same age same life stage kind of friends. It’s a group of friends from all decades and all life stages. Because we are humans and humans aren’t perfect, we cover a multitude of sins (past and present) and we don’t try and hide it. Instead we call it is what is and then seek to move past it. We seek to lean into each other trying to keep Christ first then our marriages second. Are we all at different levels of the growth? Yep. Are we secure in that? I believe we are. I am but one opinion of the #elochos, so forgive me if I step over the line. . . Here’s the bottom line, friends and friendships come in all shapes and sizes. . . all ages and life stages. . . all circumstances and all personalities. It’s what we do with those friends that makes them stick and makes them worth it. If we are seeking to put Christ first then the rest is history.

These are the faces of #elochos. And this is what we use to grow as individuals and as couples.

Three years in and #elochos is continuing to age well with time. Who is it that you find in your inner circle? Who do you allow to speak truth into your life and who do you call when life hits? These are just the tip of the iceberg questions that are answered through our #elochos group. It requires a level of vulnerability and a level of commitment that honestly sometimes I don’t want to do. . . but I can say 100% without a shadow of a doubt that I am so thankful that my flesh is willing and because #elochos strives for the common goal (of becoming more like Christ Jesus) that His grace is sufficient and intercedes into the places where my flesh was hesitant.

So, what’s your definition of “friends” and is it realistic or idealistic?

Whew! That’s the word of the day, or the year! This past Monday was a day of learning. Not a day of sitting in a classroom or changing of stations to experience simulation exercises. It was a day when the classroom became an interactive playing field. . . maybe playing court would be a better description. Keep reading, it will make sense.

I’ve briefly mentioned in previous posts that this is my first year teaching high school in the public school system but I don’t think I have ever mentioned to what capacity or even what subject. I am what you call a teacher of innovation! In short this means I am what you call a professional taken from a particular industry brought into the classroom setting to then educate and prepare a group of students in said industry so that they can then begin a future in that industry upon graduating from high school. Whew! That’s a mouthful and let me be completely clear I AM NO EXPERT AT ALL, JUST TAKING IT ONE DAY AT A TIME BY TRIAL AND ERROR!

The industry I represent is dentistry. I am a Registered Dental Hygienist and I am the dental assisting instructor for a local high school career technical center! How about that?!?! Did you have that at your high school growing up? Me neither. The public school systems are really working hard to meet the needs of each individual student! It really is beautiful thing to watch the inner workings.

Innovation represents the fact that our school offers so many choices of career paths that haven’t been in the high school education system for long so the school system is thinking “outside of the box”. . . . by box, I am referring to your traditional classes. Innovation also refers to the set up of the classrooms and the “fields” in which are offered. Our dental assisting classroom is but traditional. We have 25 extra heads to help us think. We have 26 extra lights in the event we need a bright idea. And in case our coffee hasn’t kicked in (my class starts at 7:15 am) our chairs are on rollers so we just roll all over the place!! My classroom is NOT a traditional one of sorts and I have never taught in what is considered a traditional classroom! It has taken a minute to catch up to the belief that the “classroom” isn’t just a place with four walls and rows of desks and chairs. In fact, my own children haven’t really experienced this idea of “classroom”. I love to see that our society of educators isn’t missing the boat on what is deemed as classroom or even education.

Side note: My hat is off to any EDUCATIONALLY TRAINED TEACHERS out there. You are the true heroes. . . the ones that are forming the foundations and then building upon that foundation year after year. By the time the student gets to my level they are just months away from adulthood, and yes I “instruct” them in dental assisting but what I am discovering is that dentistry is but a fraction of the conversations we have in my classroom. Instead, it is just the continuation of those foundations that have been laid over the course of the last 12 years! Oh the words and thoughts that 17 and 18 year olds are able to produce blows my mind! They are true NFL players. . . no frontal lobes fully developed yet but ready to embrace the world ahead! I love to see their hunger for life!

Let’s take a minute to think about it, in scripture when Jesus taught did He call them all into the temple or synagogue and instruct them to sit in pews? No. He taught at the table while eating, he taught on a hillside, for Pete sake he taught from a boat while others were on shore. His classroom was every changing. Ever evolving. Never stagnant. That man, He performed miracles before anyone even knew what a miracle was for crying out loud! My hero!

If our example is Jesus and the classroom that He models is every changing, I’d say that the way education is headed seems to be pointed toward North! Our classrooms are going from rows and sitting to moving and rotating. Even as a teacher of innovation with a classroom in a beautiful brand new building, it’s tough to keep all the students moving and productively working together to accomplish a common goal. For me, it’s hard finding clinical externship sites that provide those hands on learning tools. It’s easier to put the students in a classroom and then get in the groove of the curriculum and bury our heads only to come up long enough to catch a breathe. But it’s life and sometimes even that is called for.

My “classroom” changes depending on the population of my pupils. When at home my classroom is life itself. Teaching moments are daily and often and the pupils are those that choose to enter into our home and then actively participate in it. Mainly my children but any friends or family that stop by to play or hangout. Learning is the revolving door that opens and shuts over and over in a Rush world.

Monday, at school, my classroom was the Dallas Mavericks practice facility. The playing court of national basketball players turned community dental public health clinic for the TeamSmile (R) event! DFW dental professionals teamed up with Dallas Mavericks to host the first TeamSmile(R) event in the area. The recipients were students from Dallas ISD schools in need of dental care. I donated my time to clean teeth and my students partnered with volunteer dentists and assistants to provide dental care for 300 children. May not seem like much, but to see the smiles on the faces of my students as they worked with these children was amazing! LIFE LEARNING AT IT’S FINEST! Didactic knowledge applied to real life changing hands on experiences. Look at my students! (all have signed photo consents)

Here’s my challenge for the week or maybe even the rest of the school year. Think long and hard about what “your classroom” looks like and who your “pupils” are? These questions aren’t just for the professionally educated teachers but they apply to most anyone and everyone. If you can identify these two answers you are on the path to solving how to change a life one person at a time. We all have the court of life at our fingertips, it’s just a matter of how or when we choose to play!

Do you ever wonder if life in the mundane really can be perceived as the fun lane? Or does life in the mundane feel more like a complete drag?

For me, it really does depend on the day, the week, the month, the second, the minute, and the year. My point, YES it feels like both and everything else in between. I oftentime have to stop and ask myself, “what’s the point of ___________?” or “am I really supposed to spend my days like THIS?” You see I am an overly driven individual who THRIVES on setting goals and accomplishing them. I am almost lost when it seems as though there is nothing to do. On the flip side, I do not like to accomplish the daily tasks of life and can despise laundry or dishes as if they were contagious tummy bugs! Another thing I have a hard time with is “hanging out” or letting my kids “hang out”. It seems almost pointless to me but I know it is a vital part of life and community/connection. Ask my closest friends. When we are together, I can almost always be found doing something. Whether it’s the mundane tasks of folding laundry or loading dishes and it really doesn’t matter if it’s my house or not.

Our kids have inherited this trait. They love to play in our front yard. Why not the back, I haven’t figured it out. And since we live on a can be busy street, it often requires me to be on guard in the event a car comes flying around the corner. To me this hanging out in the front is so mundane. It takes me from my inside tasks or other activities that I could be accomplishing. But to them, it’s a time for them to connect to the many neighborhood friends they have developed over the course of the past two and half years. It’s their way of digging in deeper to the connections and community that we adults can often times miss because, well it’s mundane.

What I see as the mundane task of hanging in my front yard while my kids connect, the Lord sees as opportunities for my children to be living breathing examples of God’s love to their peers. Nothing fancy about it, and my kids aren’t using any “Churchy” lingo or stories. They are just being them, loving their friends, playing football and basketball, riding bikes, doing gymnastics, and having tea parties. They are loving them because they have spent the time with them and have relationships with them!

This week it was really cool to see the fruit of how God uses these “mundane” activities for good and I believe it was a great reminder to me that “Bethany, they aren’t as mundane as you may believe.” As Craig was talking with a dear friend of ours, she mentioned that she had had a conversation with a group of people. The conversation went something like such, “We don’t know those Rushes and aren’t real sure what they are doing, but it’s working and please tell them to keep it up because it’s making a difference in the attitudes and actions of kids.” Talk about hitting you square in the face!

What I consider as mundane the Lord sees as opportunities to love our neighbors as ourself. Simple as that. In Luke chapter 10 starting in verse 27, Jesus answered an expert of the law when he asked what he must do to inherit eternal life. Jesus’ response: “‘love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.'” It’s so simple and “mundane” yet so complex and hard. So many times we are missing the boat when God wants to work through the little “mundane” things of life. Instead we are waiting around hoping God will give us a big assignment or something exciting and thrilling, maybe even something out of the norm to accomplish the task of loving Him and our neighbor. So, back to the question, do you ever wonder if life in the mundane really can be perceived as the fun lane?

Winter Break 2018 has come and gone and it’s so hard to believe! As I sit here and write, my hubby and my oldest are anxiously watching the Championship college football game. And by anxiously I mean their team isn’t slaughtering the other . . . as is the case most of the time. Seems as though they should be watching opening game day, not the end! Even though it is hard to believe that 2018 is over and we are 7 days into 2019, I am pretty excited for a new year! Time for new goals, new adventures and new memories.

This break we did experience something new! We experienced the delayed joy of the tummy bug. (Can you tell my excitement?) I will say that it was a short lived bug. It would have been nice to have all gotten it at once and been done, but about the time one person was through and the house was all clean the next person then started. Four out of the five of us experienced this lovely gift with me being the only one to not have the privilege. What that meant was that I had the privilege of brushing up on my deep cleaning skills. The joy is all mine! And thank you to all the fun smelling cleaning products that made my job a delight. (Yep, I still use chemical products. Haven’t joined the all natural band wagon as of yet. This girl has taken a microbiology lecture and lab and seen too many germs grow so easily in petri dishes to take a chance.) On to fun memories….

While not sick, the Rushes went to the movies twice. The kid focused movies out right now are SO GOOD!!! If you haven’t grabbed a balloon and taken flight, I suggest you do. Or, for a movie that hits on friendship, take your children to see the extent one friend will go to to make the other friend happy and how it all spirals out of control but is restored in the end. GREAT MOVIES! I can’t forget our movie nights (yes plural) of the Sound of Music.  What a great way to end a year! We had some little additional outings but really tried to keep it low key.

Craig and I both embarked on really good books and tried to keep our noses pinned for as long as we could before a little human needed to be fed or problem solved. Only then, would we complete the task at hand and then resort back to our spots on the sofa in front of the fire with book in hand.

One of my personal goals for 2019 is to read more. Yeah yeah yeah. . . I know, we all say that right?!?! I saw a friend post a picture of an actual stack of books she is attempting to read during 2019. Genius! What a way to quantify and solidify a goal! So, like my friend, my goal is to read 19 books in 2019. This is a BIG goal for me. I’m still working on my list of books, and some will be ones that are recommended from others or we do as book clubs or bible studies at church. I’ll keep you posted on what exact books I am seeking to accomplish this year. The book I started during break is Sacred Parenting by Gary L. Thomas. PARENTS: READ THIS BOOK! I’m halfway through and already floored at the information my brain is soaking in. It is changing my thinking, all in positive ways!

A second goal I have for myself is to continue my health journey. I FINALLY started taking care of me this past July. From mid-July til end of year I lost 30 lbs. I wish I could say that I accomplished this goal because I was sweating like the devil from exercising, but it just wouldn’t be true. I did use a great program to help me jump start my journey and help reignite in me a flame that has been out for a very long time. My journey continues into 2019.

This time, my goal is to achieve a healthy mindset and attitude toward food (while using real food as my fueling source) and finding a form of exercise that I enjoy without obsessing about it and/or it taking over my world. This goal alone is one that is a major deal for me. Like many women I know, we carry extra baggage when it comes to food, health and exercise. And by extra baggage I’m not just talking about the pounds we found while growing a human or the ones that wouldn’t leave once we deposited that human into the hands of a doctor or midwife or whoever it was that was ready to catch. The baggage I speak of are the wounds from lies we have chosen to believe and are deep seeded into our thoughts and hearts. Almost like they are interwoven into the threads of our life and whether we acknowledge it or not, the wounds run deep and lies are still untrue and satan has accomplished his goal instead of God getting the glory of a victory that is found in bondage no more! (ugh, sorry that’s heavy stuff . . . maybe too heavy!)

To help me keep my focus on truth, what better way than to look to the source of life. Truth is truth is truth and will always be truth. That’s it. All there is to it. TRUTH! And what truth I choose to cling to in this season is from the book of Mark chapter 5 verse 34. And it says this,

He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” Mark 5:34 (NIV)

I leave you with this, focusing on truth is so easy a concept yet so hard an action step to put into place. Like Ryan Leak mentioned in his sermon this past week, ” You can’t keep squeezing God into a messy schedule and expect growth.” I choose growth for 2019. . . so long farewell 2018. You were good but the best is yet to come!

If you have watched the movie “Sound of Music” with Julie Andrews your mind probably continued to sing the song. . . “it’s a very good place to start. When you read you begin with A-B-C. When you sing you begin with…” ok you get the point. That movie is one of my favorites of all times. I think it’s something about a musical that just draws my little heart in. I have been around music my entire life. And I mean that in the literal sense.

My paternal grandmother has a masters in Music Education. She taught private piano lessons in her home until she was like 80 years old (or older) and was the organist for our church for, what we think to be, 55 + years. She won’t tell anyone the exact time and since the original staff that hired her is no longer around, it’s all a mystery! See what I mean, music has been in my life from the time I was in the womb. By the time that I was three (3) years old, she would stack book upon book on the piano bench just so I could reach the keys. I learned how to play octaves and chords before I learned my ABCs. I had even made a newspaper debut while sitting on said stack of books before I entered kindergarten. She is known for her amazing ability to ignite the heart of a child not only for music but just in life. That is what she and my grandfather did (once he retired).

They would have school aged kids in and out of their home. You never knew who’s bus was stopping or who would be getting off. (Their house was a place of safety and comfort, a place to congregate and to laugh. To sing and dance.) My Papa would feed snacks and talk life with children while waiting on their turn for a piano lesson or for a parent to pick them up on their way home to end the day. During those times with her students, my Mimi really did consider it her mission in life to find what it was that motivated a child and then use it to help develop their musical ability; as well as the child as a person. My Papa loved having reoccurring conversations with my Mimi’s students. Asking what they wanted to do in life, how were they doing in school, and what the latest was in their family. You name it, it was probably discussed. There are several of us “Ms. Dot piano students” out there that even learned to play a mean game of solitaire and maybe even more than one way to play it. Hang with me, I have a point in all of this rambling.

This week my children and I have been out of school for “Winter Break”. With break comes lots of time for movies and fun. Friday night the kids and I started watching “The Sound of Music”. One of the musical movies that my Mimi and papa would watch with me over and over and the memories begin to flood my mind. You see, I can honestly say, that it all does start at the very beginning.

My daughter, Evelyn, started Kindergarten this year. Boy oh boy was she excited for a new adventure! She could finally attend the school where her big brother attends. She could ride the bus that he rides (this is the part she was most looking forward to) and she would be making more new friends that are her age. (The girl is an extrovert just like her mother! A social butterfly that is.) But what she underestimated was the amount of work it would take to learn her ABC’s and the respective sounds. Yes we had worked on them at home and had started learning them, but she just wasn’t ready. Nothing enticed her to want to commit it to memory. Until, we discovered her love language. SHOES! Yep, you read that right. The girl has a SLIGHT fetish for shoes. Any shoes. All shoes. She adores SHOES!

This fall when I attended Evelyn’s parent teacher conference, it was brought to my attention that Evelyn was struggling. Not quite sure if it was something more than her lack of interest in the subject matter, her teacher and I set out to motivate Evelyn. Just as my Mimi would do with her piano students. It didn’t take much thought to figure out what it would take to encourage her to attempt to have her letters and sounds learned, SHOES! Date circled on the calendar, prize selected and the hard work began. I am happy to report that Evelyn accomplished her goal and as her reward she choose a pair of light up sneakers. Glitzy and glamorous, the girl has got the bling!

Just as Julie Andrews sang, “let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start. When you read you begin with A-B-C. When you sing you begin with do-re-mi.”

The beginning really is a great place to start. Whether it’s the beginning of a story. Beginning of a friendship. Beginning of a new adventure. Ask yourself, what defines beginning for you? Maybe the beginning is investing in the life of a person no matter where they find themselves in life. Or maybe the beginning is being the landing pad for a child or even just a listening ear. For me, like my grandparents, the beginning occurs daily, time and time again, for any person that I cross paths with. The beginning is just that, a place to start, a place to continue, or maybe just a place to end.